So there ist this guy that basically turned an entire friend group against me by talking shit behind my back. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. My friend met her in her class since we were in different one, and was introduced to her. Privacy Policy. My friend doesn't see the point of me compalaining over this and i am worrying that she is right, but then again my feelings are also valueble and i don't want to jst brush them off. As for confrontation, why bother. My boyfriend cant keep it up and hes the worst sexual My boyfriend and I (F 20, m 22) have been dating for my boyfriend is privileged and doesn't know it. Maybe I'm just not an entj because I don't think this is What to do about a friend who is a little needy? If i talk to people about it they say that they do not relate to what Im saying at all. Don't stay in toxic friendships, it's not worth your time and energy. Find whatever proof you need. But if your friends can't notice they're either naive as shit, don't give a fuck or are simply shitty people. She was not in my social circle, but I was. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, am I the asshole? It does not matter to whom you are referring.). It's weird because it isn't like we aren't close, we have so much fun the two of us when she's over and she'll show it with her actions i can see she cares and loves me, but i just don't get that? But I feel like our personal issues should be between us or say one of the guys he deals with. Last weekend was one i will remember forever. Please help!. But recently the friend group I'm in has been hanging out at "Jim's" house. Walk away unless you think you can actually convince them he's toxic. OP- ive been where you are before and it is scary, i understand how real it all feels for you. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc. your brain is making things that are not real feel real- you do not have to get in your car, but please call 911 and explain what you've told us in this post and your other . or situations/content involving minors. And makes me seem like Im the problem, which Im not perfect but I hate my relationship problems being spread through MY friend group. The majority of them treat me extremely well, but I feel like also maybe there's stuff I'm not aware of. Am i allowed to feel upset about this situation. Whenever your friend talks about their friendship with someone you don't like, practice active listening skills. Even if she did, considering our friendship group is so small the dynamic just wouldn't work, our other friend would be third-wheeling and I wouldn't want to put her through that. i promise you that there is no one out to get you and that the snakes you're scared of arent something that can hurt you. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. leave the entire situation and your friends sound like followers if they turn your back on you completely over gossip. Our bond is pretty strong, we have so much fun together and we et along perfectly well. Then send it to all your friends. Ive told him that I we need more obvious boundaries but when he gets mad thats out the window. For more information, please see our With one of them i've been with since elementary school, the other one we met in high school. Or perhaps you said something that may have been true that he didnt like that may have hurt his ego or self image. Answer (1 of 2): Well, the obvious answer would be to just ignore them. But recently the friend group I'm in has been hanging out at "Jim's" house. Im Not sure what exactly Im asking for but I need advice. Just minding my own business. It is not the deciding factor, but it does help the moderators get a feel on how receptive this community is to a post. If you aren't sure, take another breath and feel it enter your stomach. No Not at all, and now Im re reading this it does sound as though Im just dogging him but I promise Im not. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Final update: refusing to let my niece perform at my wedding. Welcome to r/relationship_advice. Hello you beautiful people! Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! You can be yourself and be hated for it. Understanding your pal's friendship could help you make peace with it. So the guys I'm hanging out with after school, or at parties, or during school, and . A mum-of-two who only eats fruit says her strict diet has cured her chronic arthritis leaving her feeling "like Forrest Gump". I am in this friend group, me and my other two friends. This just pisses me off and makes me say no. Figure something out. Being attractive is a double edged sword. And what hell do is call somebody and talk about me in front of me, he always apologizes way after the fact, but he can be extremely petty. You can try to confront him but record him instead, if you know he's going to be an ass to you. The effects of being bad at expressing warm emotions, Press J to jump to the feed. Or do what he does. I am posting here on this app because i'd like a third persopn's opinion on my situation. So had to get rid of you to get the attention on himself or get revenge for that instance? Is it worth it to confront him? I dont want to distance myself from her but I feel like thats the only way to do it. Privacy Policy. tell him how you feel with confidence and degrade him. And people wouldnt be able to believe you and he would be able to use this against you further and may accuse you everything he is doing as you are doing. I 20M wants to stop having sex with my 19F girlfriend. She's awesome, we have such a good good time together, always! Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Sounds like a narcissist at the first glance. People who dont stand up for you are not friends nor will they ever make good friends. Please ._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} Z doesnt have as much free time anymore, we'll only see her a few times a month, and we get to talk to her even less. I think about her so much and I have such a deep connection with her. If this post fits r/entj, UPVOTE this comment!! Welcome to r/relationship_advice.Please make sure you read our rules here. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. My friend says that she just doesn't have the time and that since i know her i shhould know how much she cares about me. In cases like these, there will be such differences between the version of him you would tell vs the image of the person they have in their minds that they would rather think you got issues / or jealous. He is very well liked, I was thinking it would be best to catch him when he is alone and ask him what the fucks going on here. I started crushing on her in about December last year but got over it pretty quickly, in about a month. My friend met her in her class since we were in different one, and was introduced to her. This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. Then send it to all your friends. I don't get a text or a phonecall like that. If this post does not fit r/entj, DOWNVOTE This comment! Read more about QualityVote on their subreddit and any questions should be sent to the moderator mailbox. I get that he bonds with him and its fine if he confides in him,. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Tonight i wasn't feeling like going out, i need a little break to be with myself and only since past couple of weeks have exhasted me. Is it possible that i've wrongly set some expectations and they are just not met? I asked him nicely if he happened to have any close people to himself that he can hang out with because sometimes I need time with my childhood friends, but he gets defensive. Don't mean to sound harsh, but what exactly has he done wrong? Whenever she gets to be on her phone a little, she will text our other friend, i will learn everything she's up too, what she's doing, what ger plans are, when and if she's visiting us, her little injuries through her. The issue is, the friend we met at high school, let's call her Z, she joind the military while the rest of the two of us continue our studies iin our hometown. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I love him dearly and I want us to work. And he's like right down the block . We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? ANY. All of these will be removed and locked. If you ever feel jealous when your friend describes how much they love the person you hate, take a deep breath. But ofc I have no idea who she is with others so everytime I used to make a joke in our group chat or say something based on our casual interactions, she used to respond in a way like I got issues or said something weird just to create some weird reaction while being perfectly fine in our personal chats. Everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes and he happens to bond with that guy. Look into your friend's eyes and show you're engaged. I just don't get this kind of communication from her and it slightky annoys me and makes me sad, my friend tho supports i get offended easily. She proposed i then go to see Z at her place since they'd meet up there, i said i didn'd really wanted to this moment and asked why. With one of them i've been with since elementary school, the other one we met in high school. So, when someone goes out of their way to give you money, whether it be for your birthday or a holiday, make sure that you reach out back out and . It's a surrender that you allowed him to get under your skin. He messes with you, you mess with him. If he overshares or acts the fool talk to him about it. He has also started drinking and act out of character in front of a handful of my folks and its just embarrassing and frustrating and I sometimes wonder if I should have ever introduced him. and our But now whenever we get into arguments or fights that we have to step away from, he steps away and calls him!! Like your friends and feel comfortable around them? "Jim" and the friend I discussed at the start always call me only if they need favors like someone to drive them somewhere. Tell him that personal relationship details shouldn't be talked with anyone. And he's like right down the block from me. I am in this friend group, me and my other two friends. So you want your friends to see your bf as one of your accessories and not as a real person to be liked or disliked on his own merits (definitely NOT liked more than you), and you don't like that he lets them see more of you than the mask you usually show them. If your friends can't see it then they are egotistical douche bags. He treats everyone with extreme kindness but is crazy rude and disrespectful to me. See how they've treated other friends they might have had in the past, how they treat others besides the friend group or if they talk behind each other's back. You don't get a free pass. Nobody does anything without reason. This is not an all-inclusive list. You may not do much without clear evidence unless its a very close friend group that everybody knows each other well. Unfortunately she has liked other people the entire time and its killing me because I have to give her advice and listen to her talk about her crushes and I know shell never feel that way about me. No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.3b33fc17a17cec1345d4_.css.map*/contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. and our Good luck! I feel like whatever I do someone ends up hurt unless I stop liking her, but I dont know how to do that. I feel awful when my friend mentions she talked to Z and i got nothing from her. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Just minding my own business.". I told her everything i'm telling you guys right here. But it's never that easy is it? Say he talked shit about another person in the group. You can make new and better friends having this lesson under your belt. Pam Johal, 44, switched to her fruitarian lifestyle after suffering . Or at least keep it a minimum. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? Whenever she comes over, we have a blast! He messes with you, you mess with him. Confrontation doesn't work with these people. Am i exaggarating and getting offended over nothing? And the way she interacts with others is completely different than how she does with me like we get a long great or whatever. Should I ask him to fall back? (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. You can try to confront him but record him instead, if you know he's going to be an ass to you. If you can, look the person in the eyes . Hello everyone, QualityVote is a gauge of the content posted on r/entj. But she doesnt. Definitely confront him, but do record it if you need proof to defend yourself cuz your friends are sure as hell not going to believe you and odds are this asshole doesn't give a fuck. Make it a boundary. He became really cool with this one guy who Ive known forever and Ive become close with his girl, but they have their own problems and are on and off, which is fine. Except for the one who I wrote about in the beginning, for the past couple of months he really seems to want to make me look bad. All you can do is expose him to the rest. or situations/content involving minors, Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. Am i being paranoid about this? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. bBut don't i also deserve a hi whenever she can of course, like my friend. But dont make scenes in front of my friends. Define what is your business, and reassess what you did wrong. Cookie Notice Tonight she visited, which i learnt again through my friend, they made plans with a bunch of others to hang out and she asked me to join them. All 4 of my original friends and I are pretty much in the same friend group and get along well. All you can do is expose him to the rest. Perhaps you were well liked in the group that got him jealous because he gets validation for being liked. Cookie Notice You need to think further from yourself. Please make sure you read our rules here. All bans in this subreddit are permanent. The high road isn't easy, just walk away. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This has happened to me once. I started liking her again this September and since then Ive liked her more and more. And i don't doubt that! Note this because it'll help you throughout life. Whenever she gets to visits us i will usually meet up with her because i know this little time is precious and i've just missed her, i want to spend time with her while i can and make memories. I send little funny memes or tiktoks to make her smile whenever she has the time to see them but i never get a conversation. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. well maybe a Fe user? It would be different if it was one of his childhood friends that he needed to vent to, but its mine. This will ground you in the present and take you out of your chattering mind. But she doesn't. I don't even want to fight for her to like me back, I just want these feelings to go away because it hurts so much. Brother and SIL demanding we get married in the eyes of Press J to jump to the feed. This is not an all-inclusive list. I am posting here on this app because i'd like a third persopn's opinion on my situation. She jokingly threatened me at the beginning that no one would believe me and people like her well. And that makes me feel very left out. I dont even want to fight for her to like me back, I just want these feelings to go away because it hurts so much. I know this makes him sound bad but he is a good guy, just very dependent and socially anxious, so I feel like me getting him used to everyone I know and a new environment makes him feel like hes not in his shell anymore so he clings to it. I actually have an Infj co worker somewhat similar. For more information, please see our I never did anything to him. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Find that reason and reevaluate. or situations/content involving minors. Ive never felt this way about anyone before and I think I might be in love with her. This person, for some reason, disliked me, and enjoyed putting me down with subtle body language like rolling her eyes. Find whatever proof you need. Need help with your relationship? , "I never did anything to him. Doesnt mean you did anything considered wrong. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). I t could also be that, the truth is i do overthink, i can exaggarate things sometimes and get defensive but it just doesn't feel right to me. Pretty generic advice question, I know, but Im in a small friend group of 3 people and shes one of them. Even if she did, considering our friendship group is so small the dynamic just wouldnt work, our other friend would be third-wheeling and I wouldnt want to put her through that. I love Z to death, she's the best and i miss her a lot, she's awesome, one of the best people i know and i wouldn't want to loose her. The sharing of appreciation is always appreciated. Except for the one who I wrote about in the beginning, for the past couple of months he really seems to want to make me look bad. My boyfriend doesnt have any of his own personal friends, and I introduced him to mine and now his only friend group is the people I grew up with. Obviously. I wont ever tell her about these feelings because I feel like itd just ruin things between us but I dont know how to get myself to stop loving her. Say he talked shit about another person in the group. Then they get mad when I say no like I'm supposed to just say yes. My only issue is that she will communicate through my other friend. For him being in your friends group well it's over now and personally shouldn't be a problem if he keeps problems to himself. Anything, really anything. Or do what he does. yes confront him. I believe i should also mention that Z got closer firstly to my friend since they were in the same class and later she got more comfortable with me, but now why don't i get this? You dont need to do anything wrong. Am I tripping? 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